So I've been laying in bed for several hours now, hoping to get to sleep early for once. However, my nonstop mind had other plans.
I just had my first huge freak out about leaving! Well, not so much leaving as actually being there and doing everything! I have no idea why or how it came on tonight, but it did.
I'm down to 6 days before my feet touch San Antonio soil. Wow. Do y'all remember when I first got my ship date?! It seriously just feels like 2 weeks ago. Most people feel like it was forever ago, but not me. I'm so anxious/nervous/excited/scared. I have taken my PT regiment way too easy lately. I know I'll end up regretting it, too. And on top of that, I need to lose about 5 pounds by Tuesday. Gahhhh.
I feel like time is just dragging by now. In a week's time, I won't be in my own bed anymore. I won't get to cuddle my child (cat) or my husband. I won't be able to call my husband whenever I want. He's my best friend, and not being able to just pick up the phone to hear an encouraging word, or a simple "I love you" is going to be the worst. He's always gotten me through everything. He's my rock. Despite the problems we've encountered these last few months, he's always been there for me, and always will be. I don't think I'd be able to make it through this week, or BMT, without him. Those scarce phone calls are going to be my lifeline. If all I was ever allowed to say to him, and hear him say to me is "I love you", I would make it through. It would be enough.
Sorry for getting all mushy, but as my time at home draws to an end, I feel like my emotions are all over the place! I just have to remind myself, it's only 2 months of my entire life. And the result of it will be worth everything we have gone through.
Signing off for now! Hopefully I can get some rest! I'm planning on a nice, long PT session tomorrow! Good night, all!
31 October 2012
23 October 2012
Picking My Own Brain...A Collage Of Random Thoughts
Hey guys! Today officially marks exactly 2 weeks until I'm stepping off of that bus, onto Lackland AFB! Ahhhhhhhhh. I'm still super pumped, but the nerves have definitely set in.
I'm starting to miss my September shipper friends more and more!! I wish that they could be here for me to talk to about all of this! We were all really good at keeping each other distracted when we wanted to be, or getting serious and talking about how we're feeling, or what's going on in our lives. I've been in contact with them via mail, though! I haven't talked to my soulmate, Brittany, though. I never saw her address posted on her Facebook page, so that makes me sad. =[ I sure could use a good laugh, or even just a nice convo with her about anything. Which reminds me....PLL premieres tonight! I swore to her that I would watch it and fill her in on all the juicy details, but alas I cannot. I may just make an entire post dedicated to it, though, that way she can read all about it when she gets out of BMT!!
Anyway, I've had several "Oh Shit!" moments lately. From walking down the Christmas aisle at the store, to just looking at my oldest nephew, I realize how much I'm going to miss everything and everyone. My husband nearly gave me a heart attack yesterday when he informed me he was going to have to do the taxes alone this year. =\ Yeah. NO. I'm praying to have a relatively short Tech School that way I can get back before April 15 (coincidentally my oldest nephew's birthday =]) and file those taxes! My poor husband is having to take on a lot while I'll be gone. I've always handled the bills, and most of them are in my name. I'm the one that calls to get stuff taken care of when a company messes up our bill, or anything like that. I'm the one that pays our property taxes and has our vehicles assessed and then gets our tags renewed. I'm the one that goes grocery shopping and actually makes a list, a budget, and sticks to both. I do not fear that he won't be able to do it. I have complete faith in him. He can do it, without a doubt. But, I just feel like since he has to do everything by himself, he may become overwhelmed. It's a good thing he has his mom and my mom close by to help him with everything. I'm sure my recruiter could also provide him with a considerable amount of advice, since he's done it himself, and has put many married recruits through.
Now, I'm down to picking out jobs and bases. This is the one thing I've been procrastinating on. Which is ridiculous, I know. But, I keep saying, "Oh, I have plenty of time for that!" Well, two weeks away, and still nada. I've enlisted the help of my friend Lee, (see Interview with an Airman, part 2) to sort things out. He's researching a few jobs I wasn't sure of. Bless his heart.
Tomorrow, I get to go to one of the nearby colleges with my recruiter for a career fair! I'm rather excited about it. However, I'm not excited about my 0430 wake up call. I have to be at his office approx. 0630. Yikes! We have to get to the college (roughly an hour or so drive), set up our little booth, and be ready to go at 0800. Craziness. But, I'm happy to do it. I legit have the best recruiter out there, and he's helped me out so much through this process, that this is the least I could do. I plan on making him take a picture with me before I leave. Hahahahaha. That's another reason I'm hoping to have a rather short Tech School. His contract is up next year, and he expects to be gone from this area by July. I graduate BMT the beginning of January, and most of the jobs I'm looking at have a Tech School length of 1-2.5 months (just in class days, so we could probably say 3-4 months to be safe). That would put me arriving back home for RAP in May-ish. Fingers crossed!
Alright, time to call it to a close. Gotta get back to my research on jobs and bases that my husband wouldn't mind. =] Have a lovely Air Force day recruits!
I'm starting to miss my September shipper friends more and more!! I wish that they could be here for me to talk to about all of this! We were all really good at keeping each other distracted when we wanted to be, or getting serious and talking about how we're feeling, or what's going on in our lives. I've been in contact with them via mail, though! I haven't talked to my soulmate, Brittany, though. I never saw her address posted on her Facebook page, so that makes me sad. =[ I sure could use a good laugh, or even just a nice convo with her about anything. Which reminds me....PLL premieres tonight! I swore to her that I would watch it and fill her in on all the juicy details, but alas I cannot. I may just make an entire post dedicated to it, though, that way she can read all about it when she gets out of BMT!!
Anyway, I've had several "Oh Shit!" moments lately. From walking down the Christmas aisle at the store, to just looking at my oldest nephew, I realize how much I'm going to miss everything and everyone. My husband nearly gave me a heart attack yesterday when he informed me he was going to have to do the taxes alone this year. =\ Yeah. NO. I'm praying to have a relatively short Tech School that way I can get back before April 15 (coincidentally my oldest nephew's birthday =]) and file those taxes! My poor husband is having to take on a lot while I'll be gone. I've always handled the bills, and most of them are in my name. I'm the one that calls to get stuff taken care of when a company messes up our bill, or anything like that. I'm the one that pays our property taxes and has our vehicles assessed and then gets our tags renewed. I'm the one that goes grocery shopping and actually makes a list, a budget, and sticks to both. I do not fear that he won't be able to do it. I have complete faith in him. He can do it, without a doubt. But, I just feel like since he has to do everything by himself, he may become overwhelmed. It's a good thing he has his mom and my mom close by to help him with everything. I'm sure my recruiter could also provide him with a considerable amount of advice, since he's done it himself, and has put many married recruits through.
Now, I'm down to picking out jobs and bases. This is the one thing I've been procrastinating on. Which is ridiculous, I know. But, I keep saying, "Oh, I have plenty of time for that!" Well, two weeks away, and still nada. I've enlisted the help of my friend Lee, (see Interview with an Airman, part 2) to sort things out. He's researching a few jobs I wasn't sure of. Bless his heart.
Tomorrow, I get to go to one of the nearby colleges with my recruiter for a career fair! I'm rather excited about it. However, I'm not excited about my 0430 wake up call. I have to be at his office approx. 0630. Yikes! We have to get to the college (roughly an hour or so drive), set up our little booth, and be ready to go at 0800. Craziness. But, I'm happy to do it. I legit have the best recruiter out there, and he's helped me out so much through this process, that this is the least I could do. I plan on making him take a picture with me before I leave. Hahahahaha. That's another reason I'm hoping to have a rather short Tech School. His contract is up next year, and he expects to be gone from this area by July. I graduate BMT the beginning of January, and most of the jobs I'm looking at have a Tech School length of 1-2.5 months (just in class days, so we could probably say 3-4 months to be safe). That would put me arriving back home for RAP in May-ish. Fingers crossed!
Alright, time to call it to a close. Gotta get back to my research on jobs and bases that my husband wouldn't mind. =] Have a lovely Air Force day recruits!
19 October 2012
What's In My BMT Bag?
Hello hello! Today I'm going to try and give a detailed description of what I will be taking with me to BMT. Remember, I have a packing list on this blog, and several of the Facebook groups. That's what I used. Some people think I'm taking too much, but trust me, I'm not. Everything I have, with the exception of maybe 3-4 items, is required. And, it all fits in my super tiny bag, with room to spare. If I get there and they tell me to buy different stuff, or to throw something away, I will live. My feelings won't be hurt over something that trivial, I can assure you. Okay. Now to get down to details!
I've decided to go through and edit this, with what I didn't end up taking. I've made a video on what you should/shouldn't take with you to BMT on YouTube!
•All of this fits in a plain black backpack with no logos from Target. It was $10.
Paperwork:
•I'm bringing this in a small accordion file. I have my SS Card, BC, Marriage License, and copies of my husband's SS Card and BC. I'm also taking a small address book, just in case.
Clothing:
•3 Plain T-shirts, 1 black, 2 dark gray. I purchased these at Academy. They're the BCG brand, in the men's dept for $4.99 each.
•Yoga pants to sleep in until we get our PTU's. I took sweatpants instead, and only slept in them one night.
•One pair of jeans. They're from Gap, obviously lol. They're the Curvy fit, so kind of like a boot cut.
•4 pairs of crew length socks.
•One regular white bra
•8 pairs of underwear. I have two that are Champion brand from Academy, $11.99 a piece. I have these to specifically leave folded in my security drawer. Obviously, I'll wear them a few times so they'll show use. The other 6 pairs are the Gilligan O'Mallet brand from Target. I got these on sale for $6 for one two pack! There are 4 black and 2 cheetah print. I know, cheetah! It's fine. I actually recommend taking all white, if you're going and buying new ones. Some MTI's will want your whole flight to have all white undergarments (including bras), so don't spend a lot on different colored undies, because you may have to end up wearing those terrible granny-panties from the Mini-Mall. They literally come up to your boobs.
•8 sports bras. Two of them are also from Gap, to leave folded in my security drawer. They've been worn before, so that's good. They're nude and white. The others are from KMart. I got them in 2-packs, 3/$18!! I have 1 black, 2 gray, and 3 white.
•3 pairs of black compression shorts. These are from Academy, the BCG brand for $10 a piece.
•One pair of black flip flops for shower shoes. I got these at Old Navy. Just take any color you can find, if you don't have all black. It'll be better than showering in running shoes!
•1 Livestrong bracelet (for those of us shipping on the 6th!) I didn't have time to stop and look for anyone!
•1 pair of white/gray Asics running shoes (not pictured)
I also wore a black fleece jacket down there. I didn't really need it, during the day because it got really warm. But it was nice to have while flying, and when we had to march at night.
Toiletries (all liquids are under 3 oz):
•3 bottles of Pert Plus 2in1 I seriously didn't need this much. I thought I would. One would've sufficed.
•2 bottles of Dial body wash ^Same.
•1 tube of Sensodyne Pronamel toothpaste
•1 stick Degree deodorant
•2 bottles of Tresemme hairspray (non aerosol) I acutally dumped one out, and filled it with detangler spray, and marked it. I'm VERY happy I did.
•1 bottle Tresemme hair gel
•1 pack of 30 count Qtips
•1 pack face wipes (10 ct)
•1 pack of feminine wipes (45 ct)
•1 4 pack of Chapstick
•8 tampons Didn't take.
•4 pads Didn't take.
•1 rectangular toothbrush holder
•1 full size toothbrush
I also didn't take the razor pictured. I knew I wouldn't be able to use it.
Hair accessories:
•3 mesh buns
•1 package of hair ties
•1 package of bobby pins
•8 hair pins (came with mesh buns)
•1 compact/brush combo
•1 comb Didn't take. My brush was fine.
Make up:
•MAC powder compact
•Avon Smooth Minerals blush (bronze)
•MAC eyeshadow (nude color)
•Maybelline eyeliner (black)
•Covergirl mascara (black)
•1 blush brush (MAC)
•1 eyeshadow brush (MAC)
•1 blue/white stripes make up bag
This should be everything pictured! Just comment with any questions or concerns! =]
I've decided to go through and edit this, with what I didn't end up taking. I've made a video on what you should/shouldn't take with you to BMT on YouTube!
•All of this fits in a plain black backpack with no logos from Target. It was $10.
Paperwork:
•I'm bringing this in a small accordion file. I have my SS Card, BC, Marriage License, and copies of my husband's SS Card and BC. I'm also taking a small address book, just in case.
Clothing:
•3 Plain T-shirts, 1 black, 2 dark gray. I purchased these at Academy. They're the BCG brand, in the men's dept for $4.99 each.
•Yoga pants to sleep in until we get our PTU's. I took sweatpants instead, and only slept in them one night.
•One pair of jeans. They're from Gap, obviously lol. They're the Curvy fit, so kind of like a boot cut.
•4 pairs of crew length socks.
•One regular white bra
•8 pairs of underwear. I have two that are Champion brand from Academy, $11.99 a piece. I have these to specifically leave folded in my security drawer. Obviously, I'll wear them a few times so they'll show use. The other 6 pairs are the Gilligan O'Mallet brand from Target. I got these on sale for $6 for one two pack! There are 4 black and 2 cheetah print. I know, cheetah! It's fine. I actually recommend taking all white, if you're going and buying new ones. Some MTI's will want your whole flight to have all white undergarments (including bras), so don't spend a lot on different colored undies, because you may have to end up wearing those terrible granny-panties from the Mini-Mall. They literally come up to your boobs.
•8 sports bras. Two of them are also from Gap, to leave folded in my security drawer. They've been worn before, so that's good. They're nude and white. The others are from KMart. I got them in 2-packs, 3/$18!! I have 1 black, 2 gray, and 3 white.
•3 pairs of black compression shorts. These are from Academy, the BCG brand for $10 a piece.
•One pair of black flip flops for shower shoes. I got these at Old Navy. Just take any color you can find, if you don't have all black. It'll be better than showering in running shoes!
•1 Livestrong bracelet (for those of us shipping on the 6th!) I didn't have time to stop and look for anyone!
•1 pair of white/gray Asics running shoes (not pictured)
I also wore a black fleece jacket down there. I didn't really need it, during the day because it got really warm. But it was nice to have while flying, and when we had to march at night.
Toiletries (all liquids are under 3 oz):
•3 bottles of Pert Plus 2in1 I seriously didn't need this much. I thought I would. One would've sufficed.
•2 bottles of Dial body wash ^Same.
•1 tube of Sensodyne Pronamel toothpaste
•1 stick Degree deodorant
•2 bottles of Tresemme hairspray (non aerosol) I acutally dumped one out, and filled it with detangler spray, and marked it. I'm VERY happy I did.
•1 bottle Tresemme hair gel
•1 pack of 30 count Qtips
•1 pack face wipes (10 ct)
•1 pack of feminine wipes (45 ct)
•1 4 pack of Chapstick
•8 tampons Didn't take.
•4 pads Didn't take.
•1 rectangular toothbrush holder
•1 full size toothbrush
I also didn't take the razor pictured. I knew I wouldn't be able to use it.
Hair accessories:
•3 mesh buns
•1 package of hair ties
•1 package of bobby pins
•8 hair pins (came with mesh buns)
•1 compact/brush combo
•1 comb Didn't take. My brush was fine.
Make up:
•MAC powder compact
•Avon Smooth Minerals blush (bronze)
•MAC eyeshadow (nude color)
•Maybelline eyeliner (black)
•Covergirl mascara (black)
•1 blush brush (MAC)
•1 eyeshadow brush (MAC)
•1 blue/white stripes make up bag
This should be everything pictured! Just comment with any questions or concerns! =]
18 October 2012
Say What?!
Holy cow! It's been almost a month since I've last posted! My deepest apologies to you all! I've just been crazy busy. Between PT, writing letters to my September Shippers, work, husband, family, everything! But, I finally quit my job! It's been weird to just sit around and not do anything really.
I only have 18 days left as a civilian! Whaaaaaaat?! It's so surreal. My last post was 42 days out, now I'm almost at 2 weeks. Holy moly. I'm completely packed, though! I'll post a picture, maybe even a video if I can get it to upload, later. I'm so pumped, but the nerves are setting in! My PT has improved tremendously. I can now run for a little over 20 minutes at a time. Andddddd 15 push ups! Woot! It's weird that 2 months ago, I couldn't do any. But, it goes to show that hard work pays off!
I had my last DEP call today. It wasn't our usual PT session. We had to meet the Flight Chief today! He just wanted to answer any questions we might have had, and get to know those of us leaving in the next month, and to make sure we're still qualified. Also to remind us of the ramifications if we did anything stupid. Haha! He was a pretty awesome guy. But, he meant business!
I did my background investigation a while ago, now. I haven't heard anything back from them, so I guess everything went well! It was a 2.5 hour long interview! Phew. It wasn't too bad, though. My interviewer guy was pretty cool. He had been in the Air Force a while back, then joined the National Guard, then was an FBI Agent. He was hardcore.
Anyway, I'll stop here for tonight. I assure you, there will be AT LEAST one more post before I'm off to Lackland! Watch out for my picture/video! Good night, all!
I only have 18 days left as a civilian! Whaaaaaaat?! It's so surreal. My last post was 42 days out, now I'm almost at 2 weeks. Holy moly. I'm completely packed, though! I'll post a picture, maybe even a video if I can get it to upload, later. I'm so pumped, but the nerves are setting in! My PT has improved tremendously. I can now run for a little over 20 minutes at a time. Andddddd 15 push ups! Woot! It's weird that 2 months ago, I couldn't do any. But, it goes to show that hard work pays off!
I had my last DEP call today. It wasn't our usual PT session. We had to meet the Flight Chief today! He just wanted to answer any questions we might have had, and get to know those of us leaving in the next month, and to make sure we're still qualified. Also to remind us of the ramifications if we did anything stupid. Haha! He was a pretty awesome guy. But, he meant business!
I did my background investigation a while ago, now. I haven't heard anything back from them, so I guess everything went well! It was a 2.5 hour long interview! Phew. It wasn't too bad, though. My interviewer guy was pretty cool. He had been in the Air Force a while back, then joined the National Guard, then was an FBI Agent. He was hardcore.
Anyway, I'll stop here for tonight. I assure you, there will be AT LEAST one more post before I'm off to Lackland! Watch out for my picture/video! Good night, all!
24 September 2012
Manic Mondays
Well, I have had a crazy couple of weeks!!
Let's start with my DEP call a few weeks ago. Well, I was driving there, when one of my friends called. We usually do our DEP calls at a local "park", with a 2.5 mile path around the lake in the center. Haha. Anyway, my recruiter had decided to do it at a local high school track, so we could do our PT test. So, my friend calls me and tells me there's a football game going on, and there was no way we'd be able to PT out there. She called our recruiter and let him know, so we had to re-route to the park. Bummer. We didn't get to do the PT test, but don't think for a second we got out of it that easy, lol! Our RAPper showed us a little bit of what it was like to PT at SF Tech School. No bueno. My quads were literally sore for 5 days from doing so much stuff. Mostly squats. Lawd. After alllllll that mess, we ran around the lake. It was awful. Yet, my time was somehow almost 10 minutes better than the last time I ran it! I was completely okay with that!
So, that was basically it for DEP call. On to other news.
I received a call yesterday from someone wanting to do my background investigation. I missed the call, but he left a voicemail. I posted about it in my November BMT group, and they all told me to be careful. Apparently, there is some sort of scam related to this going around. So I'm going to head to my recruiter's office in a little bit and discuss it. He was on vacation last week, which sucked. Every time I have something to talk to him about something, he's always on vacation it seems like! But, he'll still reply to my texts and whatnot when he's gone, which I appreciate! It just always seems to happen when I actually stop by his office haha! I had to have a promissory note sent to him for my student loans, and I'm going to head over there to make sure he got it.
Anyway, I feel so lonely these days! All of my September shippers will be gone as of tomorrow. It's weird. I've gotten a bit closer to my November shippers, which I'm very thankful for! Most of the ones I talk to , however, all leave after I do. =[ So if any of you lovelies are leaving Nov 6, please go join our group! Just login to Facebook and search for "USAF BMT November 2012". I would love to get to know anyone and everyone I could be shipping with, or even have in my flight!
I suppose that's all for today. I just feel like I've been running around like a crazy person! I've actually been working a lot! I've decided that my last day will be Oct. 20, and that just can't come fast enough! I officially have 42 days until I step off the bus onto Lackland AFB. It's weird. But, I am so ready for it. My PT was slacking last week, but I'm getting back into this week, I have no option. I'm not about to get there and not be able to run my 1.5 mile. I want to be able to run it in 10 minutes flat by the time I graduate. I definitely think I can manage that. =]
Have an awesome Air Force day, everyone!
Let's start with my DEP call a few weeks ago. Well, I was driving there, when one of my friends called. We usually do our DEP calls at a local "park", with a 2.5 mile path around the lake in the center. Haha. Anyway, my recruiter had decided to do it at a local high school track, so we could do our PT test. So, my friend calls me and tells me there's a football game going on, and there was no way we'd be able to PT out there. She called our recruiter and let him know, so we had to re-route to the park. Bummer. We didn't get to do the PT test, but don't think for a second we got out of it that easy, lol! Our RAPper showed us a little bit of what it was like to PT at SF Tech School. No bueno. My quads were literally sore for 5 days from doing so much stuff. Mostly squats. Lawd. After alllllll that mess, we ran around the lake. It was awful. Yet, my time was somehow almost 10 minutes better than the last time I ran it! I was completely okay with that!
So, that was basically it for DEP call. On to other news.
I received a call yesterday from someone wanting to do my background investigation. I missed the call, but he left a voicemail. I posted about it in my November BMT group, and they all told me to be careful. Apparently, there is some sort of scam related to this going around. So I'm going to head to my recruiter's office in a little bit and discuss it. He was on vacation last week, which sucked. Every time I have something to talk to him about something, he's always on vacation it seems like! But, he'll still reply to my texts and whatnot when he's gone, which I appreciate! It just always seems to happen when I actually stop by his office haha! I had to have a promissory note sent to him for my student loans, and I'm going to head over there to make sure he got it.
Anyway, I feel so lonely these days! All of my September shippers will be gone as of tomorrow. It's weird. I've gotten a bit closer to my November shippers, which I'm very thankful for! Most of the ones I talk to , however, all leave after I do. =[ So if any of you lovelies are leaving Nov 6, please go join our group! Just login to Facebook and search for "USAF BMT November 2012". I would love to get to know anyone and everyone I could be shipping with, or even have in my flight!
I suppose that's all for today. I just feel like I've been running around like a crazy person! I've actually been working a lot! I've decided that my last day will be Oct. 20, and that just can't come fast enough! I officially have 42 days until I step off the bus onto Lackland AFB. It's weird. But, I am so ready for it. My PT was slacking last week, but I'm getting back into this week, I have no option. I'm not about to get there and not be able to run my 1.5 mile. I want to be able to run it in 10 minutes flat by the time I graduate. I definitely think I can manage that. =]
Have an awesome Air Force day, everyone!
13 September 2012
DEP Call Anticipation.
Hey guys! Just doing a quick check in.
I have a DEP call in about 4 hours. And I'm not feeling too hot today. I've had a massive, pounding headache, and some nausea. It sucks! We have a RAPper in our DEP right now, and he's going to be at DEP call today. We're going to do a mock-PT test, then he's going to do a nice little PT session. By nice little PT session, I mean what the Security Forces Tech School PT was like. Fun stuff.
Anyway, I haven't heard from my friend that was supposed to call the other night! I've been told that if they don't call within the first 72 hours upon arrival at Lackland, you can call or email them (the personnel at Lackland) and you can get their address. However, I think you have to have like, their SSN, and a whole bunch of other specific information that I do not have. It'll be okay though! I know they're doing just fine. Those MTI's may be mean, but they're looking out for all the Trainees!
Well, I'll sign off for now. I'll update maybe tonight or tomorrow with my PT test results. Be prepared for awfulness. Haha! I don't think I'll do too bad. The push ups is what'll get me. Anyway, have a lovely afternoon! =]
I have a DEP call in about 4 hours. And I'm not feeling too hot today. I've had a massive, pounding headache, and some nausea. It sucks! We have a RAPper in our DEP right now, and he's going to be at DEP call today. We're going to do a mock-PT test, then he's going to do a nice little PT session. By nice little PT session, I mean what the Security Forces Tech School PT was like. Fun stuff.
Anyway, I haven't heard from my friend that was supposed to call the other night! I've been told that if they don't call within the first 72 hours upon arrival at Lackland, you can call or email them (the personnel at Lackland) and you can get their address. However, I think you have to have like, their SSN, and a whole bunch of other specific information that I do not have. It'll be okay though! I know they're doing just fine. Those MTI's may be mean, but they're looking out for all the Trainees!
Well, I'll sign off for now. I'll update maybe tonight or tomorrow with my PT test results. Be prepared for awfulness. Haha! I don't think I'll do too bad. The push ups is what'll get me. Anyway, have a lovely afternoon! =]
12 September 2012
Surrealism.
Well, today I saw (metaphorically) off some of my friends for BMT. It kinda sucks. Of course, they're all members of my BMT group on Facebook. I actually got to meet one of them, though! He lives about an hour away from me, and we did a public swear in together a few weeks ago at a baseball game. I was SO excited to get to meet him!
I feel like one of those creepers that you see in the movies. Haha! But these guys have become some of my best friends, even if it's just over Facebook. One day, we'll all meet up. I know it! The Air Force isn't that big. =]
All day long I was just a ball of nerves. I honestly felt like I was going to MEPS, swearing in, waiting around at the airport, riding the bus and everything. They kept me, and our group, updated throughout their whole day. I was even up at 4 this morning!! I'm so happy for them, and excited. I know at this exact moment they're having their "Holy shit, what did I just get myself into?!" moments, but that'll fade within the next few days/weeks. These people, they've got what it takes. I have no doubt about that.
Now, it's a little past midnight, and they're all probably still playing pick 'em ups, or hearing their MTI's running into their dorms screaming at them to wake up and stand at attention. I'm actually hoping to receive a phone call tonight, or whenever they're allowed to make that first phone call, from one of the people in the group! I was more than willing to be their support system. Nobody should have to go through something like BMT and not have anyone to share their experiences with, or their fears. They didn't really want to call their family because they're not all too close by any means. They wanted to act like it was no big deal, which was actually quite believable. However, I can read people quite well! The call could come in 5 seconds from now, or at 2 a.m., or tomorrow morning. Who knows? Hopefully, I'll be awake to answer it, or at least hear my phone ringing in my sleep.
I'm down to 1 person in the September group that is one of my close friends. And she's leaving next week! We actually don't live too awfully far from each other, and were able to meet up this past weekend at an Air Show at our closest AFB! It was awesome! I feel like these next 2 months are just going to drag by so slow. I'm down to 55 days (54 til MEPS!). I'll get to speak with my 4thers for a few days before I leave, but the 11thers will be graduating the week I arrive. =[ It sucks so bad! I won't even get to talk to them before I leave! Of course we still have letter-writing, but still. No more awkward ooVoo sessions, no more random, ADD posts, no more dimple, no more cats, no more Batman. Nothing.
This all seems so weird to me! I had a "Holy Shit!" moment earlier today. I think it was due to the fact that my friends were all experiencing their ship day, after talking about it for months and months. They were actually at MEPS. They actually swore into Active Duty. They actually flew to San Antonio. They actually loaded onto a bus, and drove onto Lackland AFB where they're currently flipping out. This will be me in less than 2 months.
I don't really know how to react to it, honestly. I'm still 100% positive this is what I want to do. I'm meant to do it. No questions there. But, can I do it? Do I actually have what it takes to become an American Airman? I've always known it would be hard. I've always known that I'm going to have so many struggles along the way, but they really got put into perspective for me today. I'm not worried about the PT portion of BMT too much. I can definitely run like no one's business right now, so with another 55 days of prep, I'll be good to go. Push ups...meh. I can do 12 now, though!! Graduating standards are only 18, so if I can't come up with 6 more in 4 months, something's wrong there. I can do 32 sit ups. The only reason they're that low is because the last time I timed myself, I got incredibly tired for some reason around 22ish, and slowed wayyyy down. All of that will be a breeze. But it's the mind games. Not the ones played by the MTI's. I know what they're trying to accomplish with those. They must break you down, to build you back up as an Airman. Someone worthy of defending our great country. Someone that will not falter, and will not fail. Failure has never been an option for me. Now more than ever, I want to succeed. I must succeed.
I have a tendency to over think and over analyze everything. I'm also OCD. Not like, not able to function properly, but things must be a certain way. I must do them a certain way. It's weird. I've always been a very logical person, and I like to think I have more common sense than the average person. So, when I combine those two things, it gets bad. Well, in regards to BMT.
This is how I see it: A 22 year old, 5'2", 135 pound, Southern girl with no college education, got married at 19, has never been independent her whole adult life, is about to embark upon the toughest journey less than 1% of Americans take. Of that 1%, only .01% are Air Force (at least, so I've been told). She has 3 years worth of management experience under her belt, has dealt with enough stupid people to last anyone a lifetime, and has handled the stresses of young marriage, crazy work schedules, stalkers, debt, poverty, growing up without a father, being a full time student and employee at the same time, being the perfect housewife and all. So how does that relate to the Air Force? These things are definitely a symbol of an overcomer, but, can she overcome Basic Military Training? Where MTI's don't care who you are, who your parents are, what your feelings are, if you're tired, scared, have the sniffles, anything. Can she do it?
I guess that's my food for thought. It's probably what every DEPper has felt at some time or another, but it's still tough to deal with. I want this more than anything, and I hope that that kind of determination I have will be my light when it all seems so dark. It will guide me home.
"And the only solution was to stand and fight.
And my body was loose and I was set alight.
But, she came over me like some holy rite.
And although I was burning, you're the only light,
Only if for a night."
-Florence + The Machine "Only If For A Night"
I feel like one of those creepers that you see in the movies. Haha! But these guys have become some of my best friends, even if it's just over Facebook. One day, we'll all meet up. I know it! The Air Force isn't that big. =]
All day long I was just a ball of nerves. I honestly felt like I was going to MEPS, swearing in, waiting around at the airport, riding the bus and everything. They kept me, and our group, updated throughout their whole day. I was even up at 4 this morning!! I'm so happy for them, and excited. I know at this exact moment they're having their "Holy shit, what did I just get myself into?!" moments, but that'll fade within the next few days/weeks. These people, they've got what it takes. I have no doubt about that.
Now, it's a little past midnight, and they're all probably still playing pick 'em ups, or hearing their MTI's running into their dorms screaming at them to wake up and stand at attention. I'm actually hoping to receive a phone call tonight, or whenever they're allowed to make that first phone call, from one of the people in the group! I was more than willing to be their support system. Nobody should have to go through something like BMT and not have anyone to share their experiences with, or their fears. They didn't really want to call their family because they're not all too close by any means. They wanted to act like it was no big deal, which was actually quite believable. However, I can read people quite well! The call could come in 5 seconds from now, or at 2 a.m., or tomorrow morning. Who knows? Hopefully, I'll be awake to answer it, or at least hear my phone ringing in my sleep.
I'm down to 1 person in the September group that is one of my close friends. And she's leaving next week! We actually don't live too awfully far from each other, and were able to meet up this past weekend at an Air Show at our closest AFB! It was awesome! I feel like these next 2 months are just going to drag by so slow. I'm down to 55 days (54 til MEPS!). I'll get to speak with my 4thers for a few days before I leave, but the 11thers will be graduating the week I arrive. =[ It sucks so bad! I won't even get to talk to them before I leave! Of course we still have letter-writing, but still. No more awkward ooVoo sessions, no more random, ADD posts, no more dimple, no more cats, no more Batman. Nothing.
This all seems so weird to me! I had a "Holy Shit!" moment earlier today. I think it was due to the fact that my friends were all experiencing their ship day, after talking about it for months and months. They were actually at MEPS. They actually swore into Active Duty. They actually flew to San Antonio. They actually loaded onto a bus, and drove onto Lackland AFB where they're currently flipping out. This will be me in less than 2 months.
I don't really know how to react to it, honestly. I'm still 100% positive this is what I want to do. I'm meant to do it. No questions there. But, can I do it? Do I actually have what it takes to become an American Airman? I've always known it would be hard. I've always known that I'm going to have so many struggles along the way, but they really got put into perspective for me today. I'm not worried about the PT portion of BMT too much. I can definitely run like no one's business right now, so with another 55 days of prep, I'll be good to go. Push ups...meh. I can do 12 now, though!! Graduating standards are only 18, so if I can't come up with 6 more in 4 months, something's wrong there. I can do 32 sit ups. The only reason they're that low is because the last time I timed myself, I got incredibly tired for some reason around 22ish, and slowed wayyyy down. All of that will be a breeze. But it's the mind games. Not the ones played by the MTI's. I know what they're trying to accomplish with those. They must break you down, to build you back up as an Airman. Someone worthy of defending our great country. Someone that will not falter, and will not fail. Failure has never been an option for me. Now more than ever, I want to succeed. I must succeed.
I have a tendency to over think and over analyze everything. I'm also OCD. Not like, not able to function properly, but things must be a certain way. I must do them a certain way. It's weird. I've always been a very logical person, and I like to think I have more common sense than the average person. So, when I combine those two things, it gets bad. Well, in regards to BMT.
This is how I see it: A 22 year old, 5'2", 135 pound, Southern girl with no college education, got married at 19, has never been independent her whole adult life, is about to embark upon the toughest journey less than 1% of Americans take. Of that 1%, only .01% are Air Force (at least, so I've been told). She has 3 years worth of management experience under her belt, has dealt with enough stupid people to last anyone a lifetime, and has handled the stresses of young marriage, crazy work schedules, stalkers, debt, poverty, growing up without a father, being a full time student and employee at the same time, being the perfect housewife and all. So how does that relate to the Air Force? These things are definitely a symbol of an overcomer, but, can she overcome Basic Military Training? Where MTI's don't care who you are, who your parents are, what your feelings are, if you're tired, scared, have the sniffles, anything. Can she do it?
I guess that's my food for thought. It's probably what every DEPper has felt at some time or another, but it's still tough to deal with. I want this more than anything, and I hope that that kind of determination I have will be my light when it all seems so dark. It will guide me home.
"And the only solution was to stand and fight.
And my body was loose and I was set alight.
But, she came over me like some holy rite.
And although I was burning, you're the only light,
Only if for a night."
-Florence + The Machine "Only If For A Night"
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